The creative dilemma.

 The questions that have been asked of creative types the world over is possibly, "Why do you do what you do?" "What compels you to create?" and "What do you do with all of the things that you make?" "Are you more about the process or the product?" These are certainly questions I ask myself.

I feel I'm stuck in my creative practice at the moment and it's not something that has just snuck up on me. It's been simmering away in the background for a few years now. I've been a maker for as long as I can remember. But a lot of that making was through necessity.  Translation- the cool thing that I saw was out of my price range. So I'd create a variation using the materials that I had.  For my personal use only, not to copy and resell.

In the mid 1990's, I made myself a handbag from some remnant decorator fabric I'd sourced, by pulling apart an old snap frame purse I had and tracing the pattern pieces. Once I had a basic understanding about how the pieces came together, I made a few more.  Then, my boss's wife asked me to make something from some fabric that she had, so I made different style bags for her. They were very basic shapes with a single pocket in the interior lining. There was very little hardware. I gave each bag a name so that I could keep track of it when I gave it away or sold it. I'm glad I had the foresight to take photos of nearly every one I made, even before digital photography was a thing.

The first Joystuff bags ever made!

 

Bags for the boss's wife.

Making these bags unlocked a new obsession in me. I'd scour the fabric warehouse around the corner from where I worked, often rummaging through piles of decorator samples for the most part of my lunch break. The bold florals and colourful stripes were my favourites. I still have a box full of them, despite not making things will florals much anymore. After most of my friends had received their very own Joystuff original handmade handbag, I decided that the best thing to do would be to sell them at markets and through retail shops. I had a few shops that took them on consignment and did okay selling them this way. I also attended the Craft Markets once a month, first with my 2 girls when they were babies, and then later, with the help of my best friend whilst The Bloke stayed at home with the girls.

Yarra Glen Twilight Market 2007

I did the markets for about 10-15 years. Most days were successful and I started to get some return customers. But towards the end, I wasn't enjoying the process of making.  I wasn't trying to push the boundaries and learn new techniques like the early days. I was making to have stock to sell the next month. I was also finding that despite my prices being incredibly reasonable (in hindsight, too cheap) customers were haggling for discounts. And I heard the occasional utterance under the breath of "I could make that." It was time to pack away the market stall and get back to sewing for the love of it.

All up, I made nearly 600 handbags and various other recycled fabric goodies, like bootstuffers, pincushions, wall hangings and cushions. 

I decided that the thing I liked to make the most once the desire to make handbags left, was wall hangings. I did some mid-century modern inspired hangings for my walls and really enjoyed the creative process. And as MCM was always popular, I figured I'd try to make some money as well.

You can see some of the finished wall hangings here.

I've sold a few of them over the years, but some of them took so long to complete that I couldn't put a price on them that I felt customers would be comfortable with.

The tiny hand stitching on the vinyl shapes took me forever! "My Heart Feels All of The Things." ©2019

I've often thought that maybe I should be someone with a message. Recycling and sustainability are issues that I've felt strongly about for a long time, and is the core of my creative practice. If I can repurpose materials or use something destined for landfill in a new and exciting way, then that has to count for something, right?

But what about politics? Social injustices? The worst parts of history repeating in real time, in front of our eyes? Shouldn't I have something to say about all of that? Yes, I should. But because there is so much injustice, hurt and the abuse of power happening around the world right now, I decided that the best thing for me to do is create something that brings joy. Whether that's to others, or just me, that's okay. If the radical, outspoken art doesn't come naturally, then why should I force it? I'll stick with detailed, hand stitched, full of texture, slow-crafting. 

While I wrestle with my conscience about whether one more fibre art wall hanging is going to push the climate catastrophe to breaking point, our governments are frothing at the bit to build massive AI Data Centres in our country. These energy vampires will do more damage to our environment than all of the items I could create in  my lifetime. 

"Bianca" A reworked porcelain doll that previously looked like a character from Little House on the Prairie.

So fuck it! I think I've just solved my dilemma. I shall keep making weird things even if no-one wants to buy them. Because when I look at the things around the house that I've made with my own two hands, I still smile and feel a sense of accomplishment. 

Why do I make what I do? Because it's what I like to see around the house.

What compels me to create? Curiosity and the desire to learn new skills.

What do I do with all of the things I create? Display some, sell some, give some to friends and store the rest in tubs in the garage.

Am I more about the process or the product? I like to think that I'm all about the product, but I think I enjoy the process more.

Happy creating.

Would you look at that!

 I blinked, and suddenly we're in 2026. Well in, in fact. The Twilight Zone that is the days between Christmas and New Year were over before I knew it. The Summer holidays were a blur of sleeping late if the warm weather allowed, stressing over the fires that were ravaging the country and trying to survive as the savings dwindled and work had not yet resumed.  My vegetable garden got a makeover and many of the seedlings went in late. Because of this, it's April and I'm picking the last of the tomatoes.  We had a great feed of zucchini and cucumber, which are the perfect Summer staples.  The garden is now due for a big cleanup of the fading plants, ready for Autumn/Winter plants.

The freshly planted vegetable garden.

I usually have a holiday craft project that I like to focus on, but that didn't happen this year.  I still haven't finished the one I started last year. It's sitting unloved on the frame, with the urge to pick it up again non-existent. Each time I think I'll get back to it, I remember the neck pain and tingling hands from working on it. One day when I have nothing to do, it might call to me again.
I have so many unfinished projects and it's getting to the point where it's holding me back.
I've picked up the beads again, something I do at least once a year. Usually, it's because I'm making something for myself for an event. That lead me to making a whole bunch of beads and pendants out of Sculpey, as I was missing beads in certain colours that I wanted, and discovered that it was easier to make them myself that it was to find them in op-shops.  I have quite the selection of colourful, patterned beads now.  The hard part that comes next is deciding how to string the selected beads.

A box of Sculpey beads, ready to be made into necklaces.

I've got a couple of other projects that are taking up space in my head right now, but motivation is low. The fact that we are in the midst of a fuel crisis thanks to the Orange Shitgibbon AKA The President of the U.S, starting a war in the Middle East, as well as the ongoing genocide in Gaza by Israel, and a general sense of regression in this country, well, it's all adding up to kill my creative vibe.